i'm missing u sooOooo much...

but i can't do the first move again.. Now im thinking, why dont u even bother asking how am i doing?... Yeah, i gues u never really loved me.. U never really cared... ="(

i'm at my lowest...

a sudden burst of sadness came into me.. I don't know what to do.. I just want to cry.. Ang sakit sakit at ang sama sama ng loob ko.. Bakit ganito?.. Anu ba nagawa kong mali?.. Wala akong hinangad kundi maging maligaya kasama ka... Mahal mo ba talaga ko?... Pupunta ko sa baguio, sa puerto galera.. Kung san walang nakakakilala sken.. Pero hindi dapat, wala akong tiwala sa sarili ko ngayon.. Masyado kong malungkot.. Baka may magawa akong ikatatapos ng buhay ko.. San ako pupunta?.. Kelangan kong umalis... Gusto kong umiyak... Ung malakas... Ung mauubos lahat ng sama ng loob na nararamdaman ko... ="(

a lot had happened....

after sooOooo long, i'm here again.. I guess I need someone or something to vent out to.. I welcomed 2011 alone.. Yes! Alone.. 15 mins before midnight, I took a cab and went to eastwood to see the fireworks display.. There were groups of families, friends, and lovers.. Watching them made me feel really terrible.. My only company then was a pack of cigs.. Yeah! Winston lights was the best thing that ever happened to me last 2010.. It stayed with me thru thick and thin (literally, from 32" - 42" waistline).. Yes, LL called 12 mins before midnight.. I dunno if its just me being childish, unreasonable, or stubborn.. But isn't sweet if LL would call a few mins before midight so we would be talking to each other as the clock strikes at 12?? I dunno.. Yeah maybe its just me.. Don't get me wrong, i tried calling LL at exactly 12 midnight while the fireworks light the eastwood sky.. But unfortunately, LL's phone can't be reached.. Am I to blame?..

FAREWELL 2010.. 2011, please be kind to me...